You must be wondering what do you mean by choosing happiness like that is something we need to “choose”. Doesn’t everyone just want to be happy? No. That’s why I have titled it ‘Choosing Happiness’. Because it is a choice. Happiness is not something that comes and goes but something we need to voluntarily decide to be. In my short weird life, if I have learned something (among many other things) is that if we want to be something, we need to decide and go for it.
Nobody is going to “make” you happy. you have to do it on your own. One thing common among us human beings is that we are all innately selfish. We want it all. Nothing can satisfy us. Sometimes we are so annoyed at being happy we purposefully try to bring drama in our life. Yes, life can be boring sometimes but then there are no set rules that life has to be anything, but what is beautiful about life is it can be anything you want.
I meditate, though hardly do nowadays. But I have. Once you start doing so you can see your thoughts, like literally see and hear them in your mind. It is so crystal clear that you actually start finding your thoughts amusing, like how can anyone think that!? One amazing benefit of meditation, among many, is it helps to clear your mind. To focus on what is important and leave aside the silly dramatic stuff. It helps you calm down.
Then you start realizing, wait a minute – so I have been keeping myself miserable for no reason!? That I can actually be happy any moment I choose to and not wait for it. FYI, there are three types of happiness:
From the time we are born in this world, our default state is that of happiness. As a child, we are never aware of been sad. We don’t even know it till we reach a certain age like seven or eight. So what prevents us from been happy? Attachment. Happiness for the sake of it should not be pursued. It can create bondage. Besides such kind of happiness is never ending and you will end up in pursuit of it forever. One should strive for and achieve a balance in everything we do. Too much of anything is dangerous – even the good stuff.
Coming back to the main topic, I find these are some really simple ways you can choose to be happy. Here goes:
- Acceptance – Not just of you but of others. We all know someone or the other who is too much to take. They are always blabbering or complaining or creating problems for you and themselves. Now maintaining a distance from such people is definitely advisable but what do you do when they are your relatives or colleagues? How do you avoid this? The easiest way to not let it effect you is by accepting them as they are. And more importantly accepting yourself because once you feel secure nobody can imbalance you.
- Environment – As much as possible try to surround yourself with positive people. Negative people have a way to pull others down with their energy and talks. And if you can’t find people like this, always keep saying positive affirmations. It doesn’t have to be anything big, just a simple ‘I will get through this’ is more than enough. But try spending more time in the company of people who are smart, driven and like-minded.
- Let go – Holding grudges and not getting over the past are some of the things that don’t allow us to enjoy our today. Try to see them as lessons. I have to confess every time I find myself in a sticky situation my mind automatically jokes what lesson am I gonna learn from this but I guess I have trained myself to think like that and it helps me to not hold onto what doesn’t matter. For some purposes, it easier said than done, but one has to try. There is no excuse not to.
- Detachment – It is sometimes impossible to see if we are too attached to someone or not. Like with our parents or siblings. But by detachment I mean not to think of the other person as someone who owes you something or something you own. The easiest way to be detached is to love. If you truly love someone without any conditions and expectations then you are detached. It is difficult, especially as I said earlier we are all selfish and want something from the other but to be happy this is a necessity.
- Gratitude – Always be grateful for whatever you have. I know we all want more and when we feel we haven’t received something we expected we feel devastated. We get angry, sad, and emotional. The whole rollercoaster. But there is always something to be grateful for. Believe me. Even in my darkest hours, I was thankful to my parents for their support without which I wouldn’t have lasted. Always see the glass as half full. No matter how difficult something seems, try to think of positive outcomes. If you keep practicing, it will automatically become a habit. Try it!
So I hope these tips are helpful to all those who need a shoulder to lean on right now. No matter what, believe in yourself and consciously know that your happiness is your right and nobody needs to give it to you. Once you allow yourself to grieve and just be, always remember every cloud has a silver lining!
Lastly, Everyday tarot blog is here to help you in any problem so you never have to face it alone. The tarot is always there to help.